Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Thumbs this up

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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