Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

Lockerbie bombing

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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