A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Johnny just finished his pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +55

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops