come along children

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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