How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do black men do in the South? Hang around

thumb_up thumb_down +50

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A black man killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops