All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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Religion

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Why was the little boy's head so big? He had a tumor in his brain.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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