Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats long and hard? a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +31

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

cc

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I had a dream I watched Inception.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops