What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

A Black man walks out of a KFC.

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

the cow goes moo

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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