Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

thumb_up thumb_down +65

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Child Prostitution.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops