How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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