What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops