Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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sky silverstein

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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