Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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