Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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New mission: refuse this mission

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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I like poop in my butt

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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