What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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kieran is a homosexual

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops