Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops