A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

a dyslexic man walked his god.

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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