How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops