why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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