There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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