Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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