A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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human centipede

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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