Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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