One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A house comes around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops