Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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