Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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a

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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Once upon a time a was born

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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What is older than history?

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops