What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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