What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops