Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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This is not funny.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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