What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

An Irishman walked out of a bar

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

every cloud has a silver lining

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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