Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

Ruller

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

knock knock whos there .. derp

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

Women's rights.

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

The jets are a good team..

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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