guess what?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

son, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

thumb_up thumb_down -63

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

thumb_up thumb_down -83

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +118

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops