How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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What's 9 +10 19

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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a horse walks into a barn

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Women's rights

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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A catholic priest invited one of Sunday school students to his house one night. They watched a movie and the boy was home before his bedtime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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