Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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What smells worse than an old women's fart? the rotting carcus of a dead baby

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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