There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Ruller

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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