What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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Turtles

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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whats worst than reading youtube comments? Panic at the disco

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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