whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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69

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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I like to eat.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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