what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops