You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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