What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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