A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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