What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You tell me. I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops