In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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