How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops