Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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