Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

Military intelligence.

What what In the butt

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

cc

What's big? Jupiter.

Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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