Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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