Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Are you gay. No. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops