Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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