whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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