Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

A man goes to the potty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...