Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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I <3 Hitler

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Whats worse than getting in an arrow in the side of your neck Finding out there is a gas bill tied to it

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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